Epic Eating

A week and a half ago something epic happened.  And when I say epic, I actually mean that it wasn't epic, but you know me, I just talk like that.  So it was almost epic (better?)  Ben had never been to a fair before (this is the part where you gasp and think about all the heavenly deliciousness he has missed out on).  Needless to say, we went.  I mean, why wouldn't you when your parents cashed in all the coins they've been collecting for a while and bought you tickets?  It basically took me negative five seconds to say we were in. 

I warned Ben of one thing.  I don't care about the rides.  I did when I was younger and I still love them today, but they just don't do it for me as much as they used to.  Plus, if we're going to get really personal on this blog, let's just say that my post-baby body handles some things differently now (aka when I actually wondered if I would throw up on a ride for the first time in my life).  I was only going for the food, even if we were going to blow half of our week's grocery budget on it.  The angel and devil on my shoulders basically had a conversation like this:

Angel: All that fair food is no good.  High calories.  Empty calories.  Don't do it.  You're on a diet.
Devil:  Um... they have fried mac'n'cheese over there.  And fried candy bars.  And bloomin' onions.  And fried oreos...

At which point I cut the little devil off and said "Point made."  Here is what the four of us shared that day:  Deep fried snickers.  Deep fried oreos.  Deep fried mac'n'cheese.  Funnel cake.  Cotton candy.  Bloomin' onion.  Corndog.  Boiled Peanuts.  I'd say it was a success.

 Roller coaster training happens early in this family.  It's kind of a necessity if you're my child and you're going to keep up with me on the big rides someday.

 Skyler was hungry.  Enough said.

 Petting the baby ducks and chicks was a hit.



 The hot air balloons would spin like teacups.  The guy who ran the ride was like, "Don't spin your balloon until the ride starts."  So of course, my daughter Lily "Ringleader" Macbeth totally got their balloon spinning super fast which made every other kid start spinning theirs.  By the time Skyler got off the ride he looked like he had turned into an alcoholic by the way he was walking zig-zagged to get to me.

My word of advice: you have failed at having a fair experience unless you have eaten a week's worth of calories.  And since I didn't get to try everything I wanted to at the fair, I'm thinking about having a fair dinner one of these nights.  On the list are Krispy Kreme cheeseburgers, deep fried mashed potatoes, another bloomin' onion, and for Ben, another funnel cake.  Heck, maybe we'll steal the kiddos' halloween candy and deep fry those, too.  It'll be easy.  Like stealing candy from a baby.  Mwahahahaha!!!!