Recent Blessings

This picture was taken after we went out to eat at a restaurant to celebrate Ben's new job.  We were just arriving there when we discovered that Skyler (the  never ending pants changer) was wearing Lily's gray skinny jeans backwards.  *Two thumbs up*  Skyler's balloon animal is a T-Rex and Lily's is a unicorn.

Friday was a good day.  A really good day.  Here's why:

1.  I found out my heart problem is just a nuisance and not a serious problem.

2.  Ella's 9 month checkup went super and she's doing fantastically.  Although the doctor said, "Your baby is big.  As in she's the size of a 1 year-old.  She's not fat."  Whatever she is, I love it.

3.  Ben's got the promotion we've been waiting for.

I'd like to take a minute and talk about #3.  Ben's the type of person who doesn't like to take a step unless he can see the step beyond the one he's about to take, especially when it comes to his career.  So a few months ago he had a talk with his manager about where he envisioned Ben going in the company even though Ben loved his job.  They talked about a couple of jobs and one really stood out to us.  The problem was that it didn't exist yet and it was just a possibility that it would ever exist.  

Ben was called a couple of weeks ago by his manager and was told that the job was becoming real and wanted to know if Ben wanted it.  As we learned more about the job, we knew that this would be a big step up for Ben and it would open up tons of doors for him in the future.  This was it.  When we agreed on a salary on Friday we made the deal and today Ben is starting his new job.  He's still at Cisco and will still enjoy all the perks of working there.

First of all, can I say how thankful I am to have a husband like Ben?  I know we're supposed to be cautious with pride, but I truly am so proud of him.  It's hard for us to believe that just three years ago  Ben hadn't even started his career and was unemployed.  Ben has gone FAR beyond what either of us envisioned at this point.  It has been a huge blessing that has made so many things possible for our family.

Second, I just want to say that even with all of Ben's awesomeness, none of this would be possible without two things: tithing and fast offerings.  I'm not saying this to put myself out there that, yes, we pay both.  I'm saying this because they're the real reason why all these things have happened.  I can't even begin to list all the blessings we've been given because of tithing and fast offerings.  The list would be forever long. The Lord really is generous with those who obey His commandments and I'm constantly amazed by what the Lord has done to bless us.

I'm also grateful that Ben and I both have parents who taught us not to just give fast offerings, but to give generous fast offerings.  They would testify to us about their own experiences, but some things you can't fully understand until you experience them for yourself.  I really get it now.  I've seen the results for myself.  And the more time goes by, the more I realize just how little I'm giving in comparison to what I get in return.  It's very humbling.  

Lately Ben and I have seen the Lord's hands changing some things in our lives and I'm grateful for the spirit and that we can understand what is happening.  How do people live without the gospel?

My Heart Part II

I had my follow up appointment with my cardiologist today.  I was eager to hear the results since my "month long heart monitor" turned out to be a "five day heart monitor" when the nurse called to tell me that they had received enough data.  The monitor ruled out any rhythmic problems that I may have, and confirmed the diagnosis that they originally thought I had: neurocardiogenic syncope.

This is a blood pressure regulation problem in which my heart and my brain have communication issues.  For example, when I need high blood pressure, my brain will think I need low blood pressure and vice versa.  This results in my sleepiness, exhaustion, lightheadedness, and occasional fainting.

There is no cure for it.  There are 3 medications, but one my cardiologist won't give women, another I can't take because of my other heart condition (heart block), and the third would barely help and would give me horrible side effects.  So my only option for treatment is to live a very inactive lifestyle, drink tons of water, and eat LOTS of salt.  He told me to eat as much salt as I could handle.  The only problem is that these just help, nothing will completely cure this problem no matter how hard I try to follow these steps.

Luckily, this is a nuisance more than anything.  He told me that all I can really do at the time of struggle is to sit down or lie down immediately, even if it's publicly unacceptable.  Let me tell you how many times I've had to sit on the floor at the grocery store or Home Depot.  It's (not so) awesome.  But at least I've been treating myself right all this time, ha.

There is good news.  I assumed that this was a life sentence since I've dealt with it my whole life.  It turns out that 99% of people like me NEVER struggle with this after they turn 40.  So I only have 15 more years to go!  Woohoo!  I got really excited about that.  I can't wait until I'm in my 40's and I know what real energy feels like!  (How often do you hear anybody say that?)

Honestly, this appointment made me feel really optimistic about my situation.  I know life isn't exactly fun for me.  Doing the dishes is exhausting enough that I usually have to pull up a stool to sit on.  But my doctor told me that one of his patients with neurocardiogenic syncope is so bad that she passes out any time she sits up.  Needless to say, she has to be hospitalized.  I am so grateful that I can at least walk around, even if it's only for a few minutes at a time.

Maybe I should start a count down on my blog for when this heart condition will disappear.  15 years and 2 months to go!

Interesting Moments

Slave laborers.  Allowance Earners.

Sunday pretend sleepover.

This is what happens when I've got a horrible cold and pink eye and the doctor tells me I have to be quarantined to my room for 24 hours.  Honestly, I think Ben did a fantastic job.  They're smiling.  They survived the 2 hours of stake conference.  And Ben managed to help Ella get her teeth through her gums.  She officially has 6 teeth now.  Woot!

My life is full of Heather Moments.  I actually just had one as I was writing this blog post in which our sofa ate up my memory card.  Sofa -1, Heather - 0.  Here are some interesting moments we've had recently as a family.



That moment when your son thinks that a glue stick is actually chapstick and is suddenly quiet for the rest of the day.....  Okay.  I wish.  The reality was that he put it on and sort of ate some.  Yeah.  Now's not a good time to mention that he turns 4 in a couple of months.


That moment when you are trying to put on your sweater shrug and get frustrated because, for the first time ever, you've shrunk a piece of clothing.  But wait!  Frugal you thinks, Hey, maybe my 4 year-old daughter could wear it instead!  So you pull it off your arm where you're starting to lose circulation  and eyeball it for size. And that's when you notice the 3T written on the tag.


My kids have never eaten fish sticks before.  So one night when I was in a hurry I made them for dinner.  The kids looked down at their plates with worry and said things like, "Those don't look very good."  I pulled the mom card and said, "Well actually you've never had them so you don't know what they taste like."  Lily nervously takes a bite.  "Mmmm!!!  Hush puppies are so good, Mom!"  I was taken by surprise but I said, "Yep!  Eat your hush puppies, guys!"  And they did.  Boom.
(Note: I hate fish sticks.  I didn't serve myself any that night and instead ate dinner after the kids were in bed.  Yes, motherhood hypocrisy at its finest.)


Now excuse me while I go discipline my children.  They just managed to completely remove the blinds from one of their windows.  Only my children...

Choices in Parenthood

Choosing to be a parent is an interesting thing.  Ben and I have known people who have chosen to have kids right away and people who choose to wait.  We also know people who struggle with fertility and people who have decided that they will never become parents.  In my years of grown-up-hood, I've come to learn that it's never alright for me to judge anyone for any of these decisions, despite what my own opinion may be.  I don't know anyone as well as I know myself and Ben.  I don't know what their situation and life is like.

The only thing I know is what I have experienced as a mother.

It is both dark and light, joyous and saddening, hard and easy.

But I chose it.  And I don't regret it.  And I never will.

One thing I love doing is reading other people's blogs.  I love learning about their experiences with parenthood, as each is a unique journey with similar milestones along the way.  You can both relate and be completely taken by surprise by the way another child is both the same and different from your own.

One of the things I love observing is age.  Let me tell you, Lily and Skyler almost convinced us to stop having kids altogether when they were young.  But we knew deep down that we weren't done, which is why I had to fight to keep my body able to become pregnant again.  (If you don't know what I'm talking about you can read about it here and here.)  But it was simply their age that had me struggling.  I thought to myself, when I can understand them, it will be so much easier.

Fast forward a little bit.  I can definitely understand them now.  A little too well, actually.  I know the way Lily avoids eye contact when she's lying and I know the Hulk-like face that Skyler pulls when he's about to throw a tantrum.  I am grateful for the ability to communicate now, I just never realized before how nice it was to not know everything that's going on inside their heads.  For example, last Saturday Ben was gone for a better part of the day doing scout training with his boys.  Since I was by myself, I strategized that the kids would be easier on me if I made it a fun day.  So I did.  I let them do everything they love most.  We colored, read, shopped, played outside, and even had a picnic.  While it sounds great on paper, the whole day was full of phrases like, "Mom, you are so mean," "Mom, you make me mad," etc.  When we were out shopping and I took too long to compare two products, Lily shouted, "MOM!  YOU ARE SO STUPID!"  

When Ben got home he found the kids alive but I was locked in the bathroom sobbing.

I chose this.  I chose this.

Then I think, I chose a lot more than this.  I chose to come to earth.  I chose to have trials.  I chose to experience the kind of happiness that I had never experienced before.  I knew it would come with a price, but I knew the price was more than worth it.

To me, that choice was a lot like choosing to become a parent.  The choice and the consequences are strikingly similar.

My kids have stretched me and pushed me and pulled me and taught me more than anyone else in the world.  Since I have become a parent, I have learned a whole lot more about myself, my limits, and my choices than I ever have before.  And I can either let that take me up or down.  Again, it's my choice.

I can choose to dwell on the days when my kids yell at me in public or I can dwell on the days like today when my son refuses to leave my side even though I'm sick and contagious, telling me things like, "I just love you, Mom."  Well I "just" love my kids, too.

It's a weird kind of love, that's for sure.  But in it I get to see just a little glimpse of how Heavenly Father feels about us.  We frustrate Him and please Him while He teaches us and blesses us.

I am grateful I made my choice.  And no matter what challenge I experience with my kids in the days to come, I will never regret it.

I took this clip of the kids a few days ago when they were supposed to be eating lunch.  They didn't know I was recording until Lily caught me halfway through, but I wanted to capture their true personalities.

We're having a.....

So.... we had our ultrasound today.

And we found out what we're having!

I thought it was a girl and Ben thought it was a boy.

But of course we had to tell Lily and Skyler first (Ella was napping).  Oh, and my mom was babysitting.  I think her reaction is the best.

Here are their reactions:

Lily was crushed and Skyler was elated.  We weren't surprised by their reactions.  We're still trying to get Lily excited about getting a little brother.  

But how weird is it that growing up I always wanted to have 2 boys and 2 girls and I wanted the genders alternating?  I mean, what are the odds?  And I shouldn't have been stupid enough to guess girl because my sister Becca (who has a 100% perfect record of guessing all the genders of all the grand kids in our family) told me that it was going to be a boy.  Never doubt Becca's abilities, people!

We are excited!  We are looking forward to having a completely balanced (at least gender-wise) family!    Now to pray that Ben and I can choose a name without WWIII erupting.  We do not agree on boy names at all.  Heaven help us. 

Kiddles and Giggles

Miss Ella loves being upside down.  Why is it that our two girls love rough/crazy playtime with Daddy when our boy can't even handle being thrown in the air?  Weird, right?

I think this picture sums up our personalities pretty well.

Lily: "Let me show you one of my many purses while I wear my Cinderella skirt sideways."

Skyler:  "Let me give you the most random face ever while my suit coat is buttoned up wrong."

Today was a big Sunday.  Skyler gave his first talk ever in Primary and he nailed it.  We would have recorded it like we did Lily's, but our stake recently came out and asked that no pictures/videos are taken of any kids in Primary.  Very understandable, but slightly heartbreaking at the same time.  Besides, Lily and Ella were sick and had to stay home with Ben so recording it would have been a challenge anyway.  Skyler talked all about the restoration of the gospel and gave his talk like a champ.  What a little heart breaker.

Oh, and that's 17 week pregnant me.  No side shot but you can see a little roundness around my tummy.  We find out on Wednesday what we're having!

I may be afraid of other things, but I am definitely not afraid of dirt.  (Unless of course it has worms in it.  I have had a life goal since I was tiny to never touch a real worm with my bare hands and have so far been 100% successful).  I have the opinion that kids should have the opportunity to get messy.  I think it's good for them.  Even if I do have to scrub them down outside with the hose and dish detergent just to realize that all the yellow pollen from the patio stuck to their wet feet instead.  Meh.  These things define childhood.

And just for kicks, here's Ella.  She always has a hard time containing her excitement.  She pants like this on a daily basis.  Lily does a perfect impression.

Awkward Moment of the Week

Skyler had to go to the bathroom in the middle of Sacrament Meeting today.  So I took him into the handicapped stall because there were other women in the other stalls.  It was silent, but Skyler doesn't understand the concept of not talking when you're going to the bathroom -- especially in a public place.  He pointed to two plungers that were sitting next to the toilet.  "What are those, Mommy?"  "Oh, you know, those are what you use when the potty breaks."  Then I swear he raises his volume as he laughingly says (in the full yet silent bathroom) "We break the potties at our house ALL the time!!!!"  In my head I was thinking, "BE QUIET!  BE QUIET!"  Oh man.  Kids will embarrass you any chance they get. 

God Will Keep Us Safe

Our kids are like any other children who have fears such as storms, strangers, monsters under their beds and other weird things that don't make any sense to Heather and me.  We have tried to work through their fears with them, but a lot of the time we just throw ours hands in the air and say that they will grow out of them eventually. 

Lately we have been reading in the Book of Mormon where Ammon and his brethren are on their missions with the Lamanites.  This happens to be one of our favorite stories, so we have enjoyed reading them.  Every time that something has happened to one of them, (for example, the scattering of the sheep and Ammon getting attacked by the robbers) the kids have gotten anxious and have worried that the good guys are going to get hurt.  We then get the chance to talk to them about how Heavenly father will protect people who choose the right and want to follow Jesus Christ.  We then finish the story and the kids get to see that He really does protect them.

It is amazing to see how that simple truth has helped our kids more than anything else to overcome their fears.  We can talk to them and explain to them that nothing is going happen, but they don't really calm down until we say a prayer or sing them a primary song.  They know instinctively that God loves them and that when we ask Him to keep us safe He will.

It has become a huge blessing in our lives to have children with such faith!  When I need to reassure them that it will be all right it also builds my testimony of the same thing. 

Yes, there are times that the Lord will give us trials that may cause pain in the short run, but Lord will help us if we have chosen to follow him.  As Heather and I have looked back on our lives together -- and we have had some pretty hard things happen to us -- in every case we have been able to see the Lord's hand in our lives helping us, molding us, and protecting us from the tempests of life.  Now it is our turn to teach our kids that God will keep them safe. 

Happy Things

It's funny how all day long I think to myself, My kids are going to kill me.  And then when I see pictures of them that capture their happy childlike perfection, I'm like, Oh my gosh!  Those precious little angels!

It's a good thing kids do some pretty cute stuff to make up for their pretty un-cute stuff.

Here are some cute things that make me smile.

We don't have a fenced in back yard, but Lily and Skyler are old enough to know where they're allowed to play.  So I let them go out and only close the screen door so that I can keep an eye and an ear out for them at all times while I'm busy in the kitchen.  We found that Ella can be entertained for a LONG time if we simply pull her high chair up to the window so that she can watch Lily and Skyler play.  And sometimes, Lily will come to the window and play with Ella like this.

(Lily's pretending to be the Easter Bunny)

With every child, most especially Lily and Ella, people have told me that I have given birth to a Cabbage Patch doll.  I don't think it's that big of a stretch to be honest.

I've recently learned that if I don't comb Ella's hair after her bath and let it drip dry, she ends up with these curls naturally.  There is zero product in her hair.  I'm pretty sure the only people who have such awesome hair naturally are the elves from Lord of the Rings and they're fictional so......  And how sad is it that I had to start using conditioner in her hair a few months ago?  I mean, seriously.  She's 8 months-old for crying out loud!

*And yes.  Ella is that chubby.*

We played the Candy Game again for General Conference this weekend and it worked like a charm just like last time.  Honestly, the kids have been asking about playing this game since October and they even remember the words that went with the candy.  So when we told them that it was finally time for General Conference again, they were actually thrilled.  I can't say that I felt the same when I was a kid... or a teenager.... *ahem*.... anyway..... so I don't think that a little candy does any harm.  I think this tradition is going to stick.  And it also clarifies things for them since they're so young.  For example, one of our words was "Jesus Christ."  The kids learned that "Lord," "Savior," and "Son" were all different names for Christ and that they could get candy whenever they heard them.  It was the same with "President Monson/Prophet."  They learned that if they heard another prophet's name (i.e. Joseph Smith) they could get a candy for it.  Another one of our words was "Scriptures" and they learned that "Bible," "Book of Mormon," and other books of scripture within the Book of Mormon (that they recognized) counted.  It isn't all that surprising to see what wheels you can turn in a 3 and 4 year-old's brains when unlimited candy is at stake.

Spring

Spring to us means...

flowers,

and more flowers,

and hidden weed bouquets picked by little hands,

self-portraits drawn with rocks found in the yard,

birds that build nests on top of porch pillars,

horse riding/swinging,

have I mentioned flower picking?

chalk drawing, hopscotching, name writing,

and feet painting.

Spring with kids is the best kind of Spring of all.