Mommy Lessons I've Learned

1 -- I always thought that delivering a baby must be the grossest, most painful thing ever (when I took biology in high school we had to watch a movie that featured an entire delivery, including the water breaking, from the worst possible view.  I'm fairly sure that they showed it to us to encourage abstinence/birth control.  I decided I'd only adopt after that).  Then Skyler asked me in the car yesterday if the baby would come out through my mouth. *Shivers*  I'll take the natural way.  Combine that with an epidural, a nap, and a Sonic grape/cherry slush that Ben sneaks in for me that I'm technically not allowed to drink, and it's actually quite an enjoyable experience.

2 -- You will think you've had embarrassing experiences before you become a parent.  But you're wrong.  Nothing can quite compare to when you go to a birthday party and your son sees a man with a beard and wavy brown hair down to his shoulders, and he decides to shout, "Hey look it's Jesus!"

3 -- Going to the bathroom without an audience is a luxury.  And if you manage it you will get at least a dozen knocks on the door asking if you're done yet.

4 -- You think that your kids will forget promises you make (i.e. "If you're really good while we're shopping you might get a treat at home) but they won't. 

5 -- "Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what.  If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff while they're little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they're big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff."  - Catherine M. Wallace

6 -- Something magical happens when children are asleep in bed.  The little known Amnesia Fairy puts a cloudy fog in your mind that makes you forget everything horrible your children ever did and makes you want to get under the covers with them and snuggle while they're so peacefully sleeping.  It makes the hard days worth it.

7 -- It's better to go without the nice furniture that you really want than to see it destroyed in half a second. 

8 -- Genes are a funny thing.  I always imagined my kids to grow to be somewhere between me and Ben in height but Lily is predicted to be 5'5" like me and Skyler is predicted to be 6'4", an inch taller than Ben.  That'll look funny when they're in high school together, a mere grade apart.

9 -- You will feel bad for other parents that their kids aren't as cute as yours.  And you still totally understand that they feel the exact same way about you and your kids.