The Importance of Help

Yes.  Another birthday picture.  That's what happens when you lose your camera charger in the move and have to order another one online.  Thank you backup old cheapo camera for the memory.  Oh, and yes, those are measuring cups she opened up.  She loves them.

 

 

*Disclaimer*  I have considered posting about this for a while and have gone back and forth on it.  I like to record my spiritual experiences, but I don't want to overwhelm the blog with them.  But I kept feeling that this was something I should share.  So here you go.

 

 

Way back earlier in the year, when I was seeing a therapist because I was just overwhelmed generally with life -- for no particular reason -- my therapist and I came to the same conclusion about what my big struggle was: I don't like to ask for or accept help.  Ben and my parents could have pointed that out ages ago, but I think it took an outside person to tell me before I really accepted it as truth.

 

Now, I realize that this is a little thing.  I realize that I could have been seeing a therapist because my life was falling apart or because I was having marital problems or for some other big reason.  But I wasn't.  But, for me, this was big enough.

 

So, my therapist issued a challenge: start praying for experiences you need to ask for help with and be prepared to accept the help.  To be honest, I was actually really resistant.  It was that hard of a challenge for me.  But I knew I'd be in counseling forever if I never worked on my own, so I did it.  I got on my knees and prayed for an experience that would require me to ask for help.

 

Exactly a week later, I woke up with the blind spot in my right eye which you can read about HERE.  It wasn't the blind spot that troubled me, it was learning about my second heart condition, which a little later led to the discovery of my third (and biggest) heart condition which you can read about HERE.  It's not as if the diagnosis made my life much different, but for the first time I knew my whole life's physical struggles weren't in my head and that I had a legitimate reason to be weak and need lots of breaks.  When I was praying about my condition, I could feel Heavenly Father saying to me, "Now you have a legitimate reason to ask for help."

 

A month later, we last minute decided to put our house on the market.  Cleaning, tidying, packing, and moving a house is a huge physical demand.  Even though I was beyond thankful, I was embarrassed to have asked for help from Ben's parents and my own.  This was mine and Ben's decision to move.  Shouldn't we be able to handle the responsibility of it all on our own?  Why should we put that burden on someone else's shoulders?  It didn't seem fair to me.  It made me feel weak and like I wasn't good or strong enough -- that I was a leech who was sucking other people dry.  Ben's mom is a stake Relief Society President and his dad is the High Priest group leader for their ward and my mom is a Relief Society President and my dad is still working full time.  It's not as if they all didn't have enough to do. 

 

But I knew this was a personal test for me.  Each day offered up a new way that I had to ask for help from someone.  I would kind of cringe and then take the leap.  And I learned something.  People really don't mind helping.  You're not a failure for asking. 

 

Because the spirit has a way to lead you to readings that will help you in your current struggles, I was led to something that said (horribly paraphrased) that Satan wants you to think you're selfish if you ask for help.  He wants you to struggle alone.  But in reality, we all need help and our Heavenly Father actually wants us to ask for help.  There is so much He can do for us on his own or through others -- we just have to ask.

 

I would say I'm still learning how to overcome this, although I stopped therapy a long time ago.  But as I keep practicing this skill, I have been more blessed than I could have ever imagined.  I know that the Lord has met my needs specifically with family and friends who helped us with the move and in other ways, but most especially with Ben's job where he is only in the office two days a week.  Ben never says anything like, "Heather, I'm working.  I can't help."  Unless he's in a meeting, he answers to every request for help that I have.  All too often he steers me to a chair to sit down so I don't overdue it and pass out. 

 

But the real thing that taught me the importance of asking for help, was knowing that I couldn't do anything without Christ.  I couldn't be sealed to my family without Him.  I couldn't repent without him.  I couldn't really hope for anything without Him. 

 

Ultimately, I have relied on one scripture.  James 1:5.  If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upraideth not; and it shall be given him.