A Half Second

Lily was a baby a half second ago.

 

So why on Earth does she have a My Little Pony backpack and Tinker Bell lunch box hanging up by the back door? 

 

To all these people who are just becoming first time parents I want to wave my arms in their faces and be like those overbearing strangers in the grocery store who tell you that your time with them will go by so fast.

 

I'm not ready.  But Lily is.  And that makes me happy.  And Ben is truly excited for her.

 

I'm working on it and faking it for Lily.

 

It didn't help when she told me that she'd miss me because I'm her best friend.

 

Nor when she brushed Skyler's cheek with her hand and told him that she'd still love him even though she wouldn't be with him all the time.

 



And then Ben gave her a father's blessing tonight and it's almost like that made it official.

 



I told him that I've already cried about this so there's a chance that I won't do it again.  In return he failed to stifle his laugh in the other room.  Meh.  He's right.

 

So I'm trying to be positive.  And by positive, I mean I'm trying to see this as a blessing.

 

I'm blessed that I had the ability to spend every day with her for 5 years.  Not all moms do.  Now is the time when I realize that, yes, staying home and not having a career has serious blessings.  I may not bring home a paycheck or have something that proves my skill or intellect.  But I get something better:  time.

 

Tomorrow is the big day.  And I know I won't be the only one to miss her.  Skyler will lose his twin/playmate and Ella will lose her big sister/best friend.  I'll miss my little helper and Ben will miss his little Princess.

 

So to make this less of a downer, I'm going to post a happy video because in a half second, Ella's going to be going to school too.