Gas

Lily's castle.  Don't ask me why she's pretending to eat it.  But she's eaten worse before... can't complain...

P.S.  So, so jealous of her complexion.  (Sorry, Skyler.  You got mine).

 Her super sweet new swimming towel.  Skyler prefers to wear his super hero style.  Thankfully his is not pink or princessy.







Lily has a thing with gas.  As in people-gas, not car-gas.  With potty training came the explanation of the difference between pushing gas and pushing poop.  Ever since, she has been in awe by this invisible noise.  Here are some examples:

(Lily was on a potty at church and there were other women in the bathroom)
LILY: *yelling* "I'm so gassy, Mommy!" *she cracks up*

Or this:

(It was Lily's last day of speech therapy when Miss Kim's arm made a noise as it slid across the coffee table)
LILY:  "You gassy, Kim?  I'm gassy, too!"  *elated* 
KIM:  Looks at me as if to say, "did she seriously just say that?" but then laughs

Every squeak on our leather furniture, every squeal from sliding the kitchen chairs, every little noise from Skyler (okay, never mind, that one's actually accurate) is apparently "gas" in Lily's world. 

*Sigh*

So.....

Dear Kidnappers,

You really don't want to steal my kids.  Believe me.  One can't stop talking about gas while the other one can't stop producing it (and believe me, it's almost fatal.  "Armed and dangerous" has never been more accurate).  Sure they're cute.  Sure they're smart.  Sure they can tell you through song what happens to the bus as it rolls through the town.  But at the end of the day you'll either need an oxygen mask or earplugs.  It's kind of one of those things that only a mom or dad could be fine with.  I'd give you 5 minutes.  We're not worth your time.

Thanks,
Heather

So Lily has already begun to horrify me with how open she is about gas in public.  What have your kids done to embarrass you?