Things I Break

Ben's really good at not breaking stuff.  I guess that's why I let him hold Skyler like this.

Here's a list of things I break:

1. Rules.  My favorite way to draw with chalk is by soaking them in the kiddie pool first.  I love to feel the fizz on my fingers or simply watch them float at the top until enough bubbles have escaped and then they drift down to the bottom.  Drawing with wet chalk on wet concrete makes pictures look WAY more beautiful, and when they dry they're so much more colorful.  Breaking rules can sometimes make life colorful.
2. Plastic.  I am not ashamed.  I am capable of breaking Gladware, Rubbermaid, Dollar Tree tupperware, containers that hold your mayo or other delicacies.... hand it to me, I can break it.  And I don't do it Napoleon Dynamite style.  I mean that I do this accidentally.  Breaking plastic can lead to lots of laughs in the future (but also unsalvagable freezer jam.  :( ).
3. Hearts.  Lots of them.  Nah, I'm kidding.  It's Skyler who does that.  Seriously the child is a womanizer.  I watched him Sunday as my friend Erin (his nursery leader) asked him for a kiss goodbye.  He pushed his little head forward with his lips puckered up just to turn his cheek and let her kiss land there instead.  The little man's got moves.  Breaking hearts can be a fabulous source of entertainment (coming from a toddler, that is). 
4. Dance.  Or not.  Either way, breakdancing can be fun to watch, or attempt as I lose all feeling in my feet.  And sense in my mind. 
5. Fast.  Every morning around 8.  Chocolate chip waffles are my favorite. 
6. Records.  Haven't you seen me in the Guiness World Record books?  Oh, I'm in there.  You can find me under "Woman who has cried the most times while reading Love You Forever and watching Tangled.  Perhaps this is more embarassing than the plastic thing.... Oh well.  Still worth it.

See, Ben?  Sometimes breaking stuff isn't so bad!  So even though, last night, you broke the first thing ever in our marriage (a jar of hot sauce), it doesn't mean that anything's wrong with you.  It means that you're just as sane as I am!  Now excuse me while I go celebrate this victory with all 6 of these things.  At the same time. 

Breaking things has never been so cool.

UPDATE: Less than 2 hours after I wrote this post I was making meatloaf for dinner and broke a plastic bottle of ketchup.  I've seriously got a gift.