Monday, August 20, 2012

Home

Lily does this every time Ben and I have to get ready to go somewhere.  Does she ever share her blankie with Skyler?  Nope.


The other night I was holding Ella in my arms.  It was probably sometime around 3 AM and I was rocking in her recliner.  It was dimly lit by her night light, which was just enough for me to see her cute little eyes wide open and staring directly at me.  At first my thoughts were, “Okay…. you want to go to sleep now, right???  Doesn’t that sound soooo nice???”  But as I kept staring at her it hit me.  This is amazing.  What I normally refer to as “The Little Bundle of Cuteness” is this huge spirit in a tiny body.  I wondered if she was homesick.  I made her room a nature theme for a reason, and for that same reason, I love taking Ella outside.  
I think it was her second day home.  We had just put Lily and Skyler in bed and Ben wanted to show me how big some of the watermelons were getting in our garden.  So I picked up Ella and we went outside.  She had the same look in her eyes as when I held her that one night.  Her eyes were wide and focused, just staring at the sunset.  
I don’t remember who said it, but I read an article written by some general authority, and he said that the reason why every human being is in awe by nature is because it reminds us of home – our true home.  Because there we had flowers and sunsets and mountains and oceans, too.  All of this is just a reflection of our past.  And our future.
When I get a rare chance of quiet alone time with Ella, sometimes I catch myself tearing up.  She was just there.  And I’ve learned not to feel guilty for transporting this little person from one world to another.   I’m sure our last home was incredible.  I’m sure there was beauty beyond description.  But you know what?  Even though this world is so imperfect, I get to see the beauty of each day through my children, since they are Heavenly Father’s greatest creations.  
I don’t know how Heavenly Father can trust us to parent His children.  I can barely let my own kids hold Ella without blinking to make sure that she stays in one piece.  But I’m grateful that I have this opportunity to see the beauty of His creations, even if it does come in the silence at 3 AM.  

2 comments:

thepodfather said...

Two words that come to my mine are 'patterned after'. I'm sure that phrase sounds familiar.
I totally agree that one reason why we feel closer to God when we are in nature is that it does remind us of our Eternal Home.

David & Brenda said...

Beautiful! Thank you.