Sorry for the overload of Ella pictures lately. (No I'm not) It's just that I feel like babies grow up so quickly within their first year and they're entitled to a million pictures of each of their cute stages -- this one of being able to sit up and play with toys but not able to crawl off anywhere being my favorite.
A lot of people have a problem with living in the past. I have never really had this problem. As far as I'm concerned, trials keep coming, but life in general keeps getting better and I would never want to go back to any stage I've already experienced, despite how awesome some of them have been.
My problem is different. Since I was a kid, I have had a problem with living in the future.
But when it comes to motherhood, I oftentimes live in the past in the future. Let me explain.
Yesterday, Skyler drew a really cute picture and told me he was going to hang it up. Usually that means that he'll find a magnet and put it on the fridge. But out of the blue, there it was sticking to the wall. How did he do that? I didn't give him tape. He doesn't even know how to use tape. Curious, I asked him how he did it. "Don't worry about it Mom." Strangely enough, I didn't. But later when he wasn't looking I took the picture off the wall and smelled the stuff that was making it stick. Maple syrup.
Instead of being frustrated, I immediately thought, "I'm going to miss this."
I was living in the past in the future, see?
I do this a lot. I think it's kind of a coping mechanism for me when I'm frustrated with my kids. All I have to do is tell myself that in 10 or 20 years, I'll wish their troubles were as small as trying to reach something up high or trying not to put their pants on inside out and backwards.
I know that one day I'm going to miss the toys constantly scattered across my house when it is actually clean and full of whatever houses are full of when you don't have little kids. I am going to miss it when my kids insist on helping me bring in groceries even though I'm scared they're going to drop the eggs. One day I'll be begging them to help me. I'm going to miss my kids telling me that I'm "so pretty" every day when I'm wearing sweat pants and a hoodie with smeared mascara under my eyes. I'll miss the way that even though we're squished, all three kids insist on sitting on the couch with me and Ben.
But every stage has pros and cons and I suppose there will be some huge perks to look forward to in the future. (Although the ever looming threat of waking up for early morning seminary x 4 kids doesn't seem to be trumped by any perk) But I know that there has got to be something to look forward to in the future. It just won't be found in the form of pictures stuck to the wall with syrup.
FYI the non-girly crib sheets are what happen when your baby gets all of her regular sheets messy and Skyler's old ones are the only clean ones left.
6 comments:
Ella looks just like you in the video!!! Her smiles look like toddler Heather smiles.
Becca, I told Ben that last night! I can't believe it. This is the first time I've ever thought she looks like me.
I'm thinking that Ella got her 'waking up attitude' from the Macbeth side of the family.
That video made me smile so big I wanted to hug myself. Sooooo grateful for that little cherub!
Mmmm! Delicious! And I'm in the present living in the future as I think, "I can hardly wait to kiss that sweet little mouth!" and then it morphs into living in the future in the past thinking, "And it will be over all too soon and will be just a memory!" Wait! Did I get that right????
I do the same thing. I see sticky fingerprints on the front door and it makes me sad to think of day they won't be there. I love the evidences of a house filled with live and love. Although some days I would love a little less laundry. ;)
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