The Tale of Skyler's Shorts

My favorite part of feeding babies.  Finger kissing.

My biggest hobby is writing fiction.  I write lots and lots but what I have come to find is that no story is as awesome as a true one.  And when a true story is unbelievable, it's even better.

I'm pretty sure that every parent, at one point or another, says, "You just can't make this stuff up."

I had one of those moments today.  It wasn't necessarily amazing.  In fact, it was more on the less awesome side of the spectrum, but it made me go, "Whaaaat?" just the same.

Lily and I read a lot together each day.  We take turns reading and when it's her turn I have to focus extra hard to make sure she's sounding out the words right while also trying to remember which words she already knows so that I can help her out as needed.  Let's just say that it takes concentration.  Which means that this morning, I wasn't focused on Skyler while he was "coloring."

It turns out that Skyler had his safety scissors.  Why they're called safety scissors is beyond me.  Just because they have rounded edges doesn't mean a thing to me.  I could tell you about the time I chopped off a foot of my hair with safety scissors in my bed when I was 4, but that's beside the point.  

But it wasn't until the middle of the day that I noticed what he had done.  He was wearing reversible basketball shorts.  On the non-mesh side he had cut a bunch of holes through the fabric.  Luckily he hadn't gone through the other side of fabric and wasn't cut.  I was honestly in too much shock to discipline him.  And when the shock wore off, I just laughed.  Probably not the best reaction to have when you don't want your child to do it again.

I kept him in his shorts because they were still functional.  I didn't think much about it.  Then I took a shower this afternoon and as I was getting dressed afterward Skyler called me from outside my door.  

"Mommy!  I have something in my pants and I need you to get it out."

Of course poop is the first thing that crosses my mind and I started to get a little miffed.  Every now and then he still has an accident.  But when I got to him, there was no poop to be found.  He points to the bottom of his shorts.  I feel something hard in between the layers of fabric.  Lo and behold, Skyler had retrieved a door stopper while I was in the shower and stuffed it through one of his cut holes in his shorts until it got stuck inside.  The little screw kept scraping against his leg.

?????????

You just can't make this stuff up.  Need proof?  How he managed to get that whole door stopper in through one of those tiny holes is a mystery to us.  It took some real work to get it out.