6 Months -- The Story of How We Were Given Ella

Ella is 6 months old!!!  This convinces me that there's some magical time warp included with each child because the more you have the faster they grow.  Slow down Ella.  Gosh.  I want to be able to squish your overly chunky thighs forever.

6 months old and 6 inches of hair.

No, I do not use Rogaine on her.  Apparently her body says that the most important things to grow are her cheeks, her thighs, her eye lashes, and her hair.  Fine by me.  :)

First food other than rice cereal: peas!

"Maybe I like this."

"Nope.  This is disgusting.  I will spit out every mouthful."

I want to record the story of how we got to have Ella in our family, because it's important to me and I'm not very good at keeping a journal other than my blog.  This is deeply personal to me and so I want to be able to remember it correctly and not let it get blurred over time.

It was shortly after we moved to our house in November 2010 when the kids were down for their naps.  I was exhausted and so I decided to lie down on the couch.  Instead of going straight into a nap, I soaked up the silence.  Then the spirit came straight out and I audibly heard it say, "You're going to have another baby.  This baby is going to be a very special one so you won't be able to get pregnant until you're spiritually prepared.  You need to get into better habits if you want to have this baby."  

At this point, Skyler wasn't even 2 and we weren't even thinking about having another baby yet.  But I deeply pondered what I was told and shared it with Ben.  I didn't change any of our family habits, but three months later, Ben and I decided to go ahead and try to get pregnant.  Despite the exact message the spirit shared with me, I somehow thought I would magically get pregnant right away because I did with Lily and Skyler.  So for month after month after month, I got negative pregnancy tests.  After each negative test, I would feel a little discouraged and I'd step up my spiritual game a little more.  After all, I was already in the habit of reading my scriptures and praying on a daily basis.  I did everything else on the check list that I was supposed to do.  But the problem was that I was only doing the personal things.  

Since Lily and Skyler were so young at the time, I had a hard time telling myself that they would get anything out of FHE or family scripture study.  So we never did it.  But after quite a few negative pregnancy tests, we did it.  Regularly.  And the kids soaked it up.  They understood a lot more than what I gave them credit for.  On top of that I doubled what I read in my scriptures each day and tried to ponder their message even more.  It wasn't until about 2 months after we had securely formed these great habits that I finally found out that I was pregnant.  We were thrilled!  

My whole pregnancy with Ella continued to give me the same impressions: that this baby is very special.  The problem was that I didn't know what "special" meant.  Would she be really good?  Really bad?  Handicapped?  Socially awkward?  Have health problems?  What???  To be completely honest, I almost convinced myself that she was going to be born deaf, so when her hearing test went well at the hospital Ben said, "See, everything's fine."

I still don't know what "special" means, but that doesn't matter.  Every child is special in his or her own way.  The lesson I learned was that I need to do what the spirit tells me as soon I'm told.  Don't put it off.  And since every child is special, every child deserves to have daily scripture study and prayers -- even if their attention span lasts for 2 minutes.  You can squeeze "Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to choose the right" into about 5 seconds.

Ella is a special one.  I often talk about her "glowing."  I can't describe it, but she emanates the warmest feelings.  She often gets locked into pictures of Christ or beautiful scenery photos.  When I was in labor with her I could feel the presence of others helping her, not me, preparing and encouraging her.  I will never doubt her potential -- or the potential of any child --  after experiencing that.

I'm so thankful that we were blessed with Ella.  And I'm thankful that we weren't blessed with her as soon as we planned.  I'm thankful that the Lord made us develop better habits even when it felt awkward to talk to toddlers about gospel doctrine.  The Lord knows what is best for each of us, and I'm grateful that he loves us enough to test us and bless us in our own personal ways.

Things I Don't Want To Ever Forget

Angel Baby.  That's her nickname.  I mean, she has angel everything.  Angel hair.  Angel face.  Angel personality. Angel smile.  Angel hunnies (It's impossible for this baby to get diaper rash.  Lucky girl.)  She's an angel all over.  I feel like she glows sometimes.  She's that kind of a baby who's mellow but loves to be snuggled.  I could hold her all day long.  And sometimes I do.  Mmmmm.

EDIT:  When Ben saw this picture posted he said, "That's a really great picture you took of yourself."  ?????????

My three.  Triple mmmmm.

Notice the necklace that Ella's wearing.  You'll never guess which adoring sibling put that on her.

Things I Don't Want To Forget: 

• Prayers that include "Please help us to go to sleep during church time," and "Please bless Jesus to sleep well," and "Please bless Mia (aka my parents' dog)", and -- my personal favorite -- "Please bless Jesus to be good."
• Lily attempting to put lip gloss on Ella behind my back.  
• The kids freaking out if they don't get to give Ben a hug before he heads out to work.
• Lily and Skyler being dance partners on a daily basis.
• That if I have a million things in my lap when I'm sitting down that Skyler will still manage to wiggle his way in.  And that he steals my blankie every day.
• That Ella stops crying as soon as she sees you come in the room and that she's been like this since birth.
• That they will ask me to say a special prayer if they think there are monsters in their room.
• That Lily will yell at Ben for saying "stupid" (which is a bad word at our house) and she never catches it when I accidentally say it.
• That when I'm tired and I close my eyes on the couch, Skyler will tuck me into my blanket a little more and lightly rub my face.

Between the Three of Them:

• 23.5 hours of labor
• 27 months of pregnancy
• Countless sleep deprived nights
• Who knows how many bajillion dollars spent
• A million other sacrifices

Totally worth it.  100%.

Snowy Night

The other day I was complaining on facebook about how it's been in the 70's.  

The next morning, Ben woke me up and told me the forecast that was on the news.

SNOW!!!!

I was able to keep this a secret from the kids for a whopping couple of hours.  Then I got too excited and promised them that I'd let them stay awake for the snow if it actually came.

I put the kids in bed at their regular time: 7:00.

At 9:30 when it was more snow than sleet, I woke them up.  And we went outside to enjoy a very North Carolinian dusting.  I think we got about an inch.  But it might be the only inch we get this year so it was definitely something to celebrate!

 At first, I couldn't get Skyler to wake up.  So Lily and I went out on our own.  Yes, she's in her jammies still.

 And yes, I'm so white that the camera recognized my face as a snowflake and brightened it up.  Thanks, camera!

 The accumulation started on the cars so I had to let the kids have a snowball experience at least once this year!

 We didn't know if the snow would stay overnight, so I tried waking up Skyler again.  Anyone who knows Skyler would understand his reaction if he found out that Lily got to play in the snow and he didn't.  So this is Skyler and me throwing snowballs in the air.  I'm so glad I got him to wake up because there isn't a speck of snow left outside.  Sad!

 Yes, Lily is wearing boy shoes and Skyler is wearing girl shoes.  But that's how it works here when buying snow gear is sort of a waste of money.

 I love/hate that Lily's hair is always so ridiculous.  Unless I actually pull her hair back into a ponytail, I almost never see her whole face.  And even then, I only see it for a couple of minutes before it's wild and crazy again.

We came inside and enjoyed what the kids thought was "coffee" (????) and marshmallows.  As if they haven't had hot chocolate a million times before.   

Bye snow!  Thanks for coming!

A Haven

As you can see, Lily gave herself a makeover with a Tinkerbell makeup kit she got for Christmas.  To quote her: "I look soooooo pretty, Mom!"  She's lucky that would I think she'd be gorgeous if she were covered in mud because I had a different opinion about her makeover.  (Also, do these pictures not scream "female mini Ben?")


Lately I've been losing my patience more often than usual with my kids.  I have so much that I expect of myself that I can't keep up with everything.  And when I don't cross off everything on my to do list, I feel a sense of of failure.  I didn't do enough to keep my house clean, I didn't do enough for Primary, I didn't spend enough time with the kids.  I feel like a wave crashes over me and as I'm taking a breather everything just crumbles apart all over again and all of my efforts are in vain.  And as any parent knows, kids do a lot of destroying.  So even though I always imagined myself as this mellow fun mom, I can most definitely be the opposite sometimes.

I hate that I get frustrated with my kids.  And just when my temper is about to boil over, the spirit often says the same thing to me: "Make your home a haven.  You want them to come to you when they're struggling.  You do not want them to try to find comfort elsewhere."  I can't even count how many times the spirit has told me this exact thing on days when I'm struggling with my kids.  All the whining, pinching, not sharing, feet touching under the table, and stickiness-while-refusing-to-wash-hands-because-you're-too-lazy-even-though-you're-really-OCD moments really add up.

So I try to take a deep breath and remember that I hate it every time they have to blow out an extra candle on their birthday cakes.  I hate it that every time I go in to kiss them at night that they're just a little bit bigger and a little skinnier.  I hate that they say most words correctly and only have a few adorable mispronunciations.

But then I also have to remind myself that I love them growing up, too.  I love that they can help out around the house.  I love that they can keep Ella entertained long enough for me to get dinner made.  I love that I can tell them it's nap time or bedtime and they'll put themselves in bed and go to sleep.  I love that if Ben and I forget to read scriptures before family prayers that they will remind us.  I love that they will pull out the ingredients for lunch when it's time for me to make it.  There are some serious perks to having growing kids.

Besides giving my kids the gospel and a loving family, I think the best thing I can give them at this point is a childhood.  A real childhood where they can play with each other and have the freedom to run around. Where they can pick flowery weeds outside to put in a water-filled cup on the table.  Where they can paint scribbles and proudly hand their masterpiece to me to and tell me all about it.  I'd say that at least 1/3 of our house is devoted solely to them between their rooms, the toy room downstairs, and the bonus room upstairs.

Being a parent is a privilege even though it takes everything I have.  Everyday I thank Heavenly Father that He has given me my three favorite cuties on the planet.  I could never go back to what my life was without my kids, and so I'm thankful that they have turned my life into a very beautiful mess.

Feeding Ella

When we found out that Ella was coming to our family, Ben and I knew -- just knew -- that Lily and Skyler would be jealous of the extra attention she would get and treat her badly sometimes.  So we prepared ourselves for the worst.

Then she was born and Lily and Skyler treated her as if she was the best present we ever gave them.

Lily still likes to remind me that Ella is her baby, not mine.

(Sorry, Lily.  I have a very vivid 9 month experience in my memory that makes me not believe you)

And I will admit that Ella's favorite person in the whole world is Lily.  Then Ben.  Then me.  Then Skyler.

Though she is a very happy baby and rarely fusses.

Anyway, the kids don't really appreciate it when I feed Ella.  They would prefer to do it themselves.

So I let them.  Because I think it's fantastic even though half of her food ends up in her bib when they do it..

So here's a little glimpse of the sibling bonding that happens at our house.

And sorry that I posted this video on facebook and the blog.  But I had to have a record of this one.  It's definitely one of my favorites.

A Family Tea Party

My mom has had this wish for a while to have tea parties with her grandkids.  So while we were over at her house after Christmas, we had one!  This was the very first one -- aka the trial run -- and so we weren't fancily dressed or groomed, hence my hoodie and exquisite hair.... *ahem*  This is basically a way to have a little party while teaching the kids proper dining etiquette and manners.  So of course, my first rule for them was that poop was not allowed to be mentioned at the table.  Ah, the joys of life.

These little cakes have a fancy name and I cannot remember what it is.  Fail.

Becca and the sugar cubes.  Enough said.  If she feels so inclined to share her history with sugar cubes I will allow her to do it on her own blog.  :)

First taste of herbal tea.  She actually didn't mind it.

Skyler really loved the sugar cubes....

... as you can see.  

Next time we will be in Sunday dress and there probably won't be snacking on the sugar cubes.  Thank you Mamala for hosting!

The Aquarium

WARNING: Picture overload times a million.  You've been warned.

Before we went to the aquarium Becca and I were talking about how freaky horseshoe crabs are and how we don't like touching them.  So we get to the aquarium and it takes me a bajillion attempts to pick up a crab because I'm freaking out, and then Becca's all like, "Hey watch this."  And she just picks one right up.  Thanks, Becca.  Ha!

Apparently I'm the only one who freaks out about this.

They decorated the aquarium for Christmas with 50 trees -- one for each state.  This is us with our Idaho tree.  Yay Idaho!

My favorite part of the aquarium was watching Ella.  She fell in love with the fish.  It was so sweet to see.

See?  I told you she loves the fish!

Can you see all the seahorses?

Sleeping octopus.

Finding Nemo.

Why horseshoe crabs are freaky.  To me they look less like a crab and more like a scorpion with hardcore body armor.  They even do that weird thing with their tails.  Ugh.

How Lily walked through the tubey walkway.  Papa was patient enough to hold her through the slow moving ride while Skyler used this as an opportunity to run back and forth under Lily.

The top reason why I don't want to be eaten alive by a shark.  And this shark was probably only 10 feet long.

Blurry but good.

My dad wrote this in the sand for my mom before she woke up.  This picture was taken from our hotel room balcony.

The best part of the trip to the beach for me was playing at the hotel pool.  There was a lazy river, a pool, hot tubs, and -- best of all -- 3 story tall water slides.  But nothing can compare to the fact that (FINALLY!!!!) Lily and Skyler decided not to be afraid of pools.  They "swam" with us and even went down the water slides a few times.  I think it may or may not have been due to the fact that Becca and Preston were there.  I can't even begin to express how proud I am of them.  I guess it's a good thing we had "mermaid lessons" in the tub for a month before the trip!