Day 1 -- Father's Day

I've decided to do something a little bit differently this week.  You see, today is Father's Day and the 21st is our 5th year anniversary.  So even though this blog may seem like it's ruled by our incredibly cute children, I'm going to take a break from writing about them (for the most part anyway.... they're sort of a vital piece of glue and sticks the hubby and I together) and keep to a subject that I don't talk about that often: Me and Ben.  So each day until our anniversary I will be putting up a new post about us.

5 days of blogging for 5 years of marriage

Because 5 years is definitely something to celebrate.

So excuse me if I get a little mushy gushy, especially since I never do.

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Ben and I don't have a perfect marriage.  It bugs me to death that Ben usually only gets his big projects around the house only 90% of the way done and it bugs him that I almost never put DVD's back in their cases.  But around dinner time I find myself listening for the sound of our Camry driving down the street (it has a uniquely low hum that I have memorized) and wondering, "Is that him?!"  But since I'm always in the middle of scrambling around the kitchen getting dinner together, I usually just let the kids greet him*.

*"Greet" can mean anything from climbing up him to give him a hug around the neck to half sobbing/half asking for snuggles on the couch.  But usually it just means the kids are waiting by the door impatiently asking me if I'll open it for them (it's child locked) and yelling with delight, "Daddy!  You're home!" as soon as the door cracks open.  (It looks like I really can't stray away from the kids for too long, huh?  Fail.)

*Ahem*

Anyway.

I have one memory that will never be erased in my mind about Ben.  It happened when we were dating and almost to the "maybe we should go shopping for a rock but if anyone asks if we're thinking about the idea we'll just blush and say 'maybe'" phase.  We had been dating for a while and Ben's parents were flying into the country (from Samoa) for their granddaughter's baby blessing.  Since they would be a mere 3-4 hours away from us, Ben decided to take me down to his brother's house so I could meet some of the family.  Ben was amazing at making sure I didn't feel out of place.

Then something happened.  It's not so much that he stopped paying attention to me as it was that all of the young kids around us had more attention.  I watched as Ben scooped up kids off the ground and flew them around on his shoulder.  I watched tickle fights between this guy who was 6'3" and kids who weren't even 3'6".  I watched how time after time Ben lost whatever game he was playing with these kids.  And it was so fun for him.

And that's sort of when I knew. 

I already knew that I really loved him.  But I wanted someone who was more than just a fun guy that I was dating.  It had always been a critical need for me to marry someone who would make an incredible dad someday.

And I knew he would.

So fast forward to 2 months after we got married.  At the point I was barely 19.  We had agreed to wait 3 years to get pregnant so that we could both be finished with school.  But we also agreed, even more so, that if the Lord told us that we needed to have a baby sooner than that, we wouldn't hesitate.

It just came a lot sooner than we expected.

So.  Like I said.  2 months after we got married, Ben and I were sitting in the Idaho Falls temple doing our typical weekly (or whatever) session.  I had never had such a clear impression before, but it was VERY clear to me that it was time to start a family.  And I kinda-sorta freaked out a little bit in the session.  And I spent the rest of the session wondering how I would gather the courage to tell Ben.  So when we got into the Celestial Room in the temple, Ben (who had a slight "deer in the headlights" look) asked me if I had had any impressions.  I said yes and asked him the same question.  He said yes, too.

And I was not about to spill first.

So I asked him what he had felt.  And what do you know, we both had the exact same experience.  So we called our parents in the parking lot and asked them to fast with us the next day so we could know 100% for sure.  And they did.  And we fasted.  And prayed.

And then we knew.  It was time.

So even though I knew my life was about to flip a 180, especially for being so young, I felt peace.  And I kept reminding myself of all those memories of Ben playing with his nieces and cousins. 

And then I felt excitement.  Because Ben was going to be more than just "The Hubby," as I call him.  He was going to be my kids' daddy.

So when Lily came along and Ben flopped himself on the floor to do tummy time with her, and then Skyler came along and he woke up early every morning so I could have a break from his colic, and then #3 started getting baked and he rubs my tummy and whispers to her that he's excited to meet her, I feel the same confirmation I felt in the temple.  This is how it's supposed to be.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Father's Day hubby.  I'm still glad I picked you.