You'll never guess who gave Ella her whale jammies. Thank you Nanni and Papa. If clothes are the only thing "Whale-ish" that are passed on to my kids, I am so so happy for them. They'll never have to deal with people saying, "Your name is Heather Wally?" "It's pronounced Whale. Just like the animal." "Really? WOW." *Blank stare*
If you feel uncomfortable reading about controversial topics, DO NOT READ THIS BLOG POST.
I have been really fortunate. All 3 of my kids picked up nursing within 5 minutes at the hospital. The starts of nursing were all easy but the continuation proved to be a different story. I had to be re-hospitalized 2 weeks after I had Lily and was put on non-nursing medication. Luckily, she picked up formula feeding easily. Skyler on the other hand refused taking a bottle at all costs and solely nursed for 10 months.
This time around, I planned to nurse Ella for the full first year, not because I enjoy nursing, but because it's free. Does that make me shallow? Probably.
I really did have a goal to enjoy everything that came with having a baby this time around. I didn't enjoy nursing Skyler so I made it a goal to try to enjoy nursing this time around. And in the beginning, I thought my change of perspective was actually working.
But then my experience with Skyler started repeating itself. When people ask me why I hated nursing so much, I usually just say that it's because both Lily and Skyler took about an hour to nurse each time. So that was literally 8 hours of my day sitting and feeding a baby. I knew that was ridiculously long and not normal. But Skyler continued to do that all the way up to 10 months.
But that's not the main reason why I hate nursing. I usually don't like to talk about the real reason: no matter how positive I try to stay during the day, I get a panic attack every single time I get let down. Then I get hit by a wave of depression. I don't even have to be nursing to get pulled under -- just get let down. I've tried to control it, but I can't. I can actually tell about 20 seconds beforehand that I'm going to get let down because I'll go from happy and smiling to panicking and holding back tears. WEIRD. It makes no sense to me, but then I've given up on trying to make sense of the human body and all of its craziness.
A little over a week ago Ben and I decided that enough was enough. Yes, I know that breast milk is nutritionally best, but honestly, formula is pretty dang awesome, too. Unless of course you accidentally get some in your mouth (don't ask) and then it's not so awesome. But in this case, formula is a saving grace to me. I absolutely love bottle feeding.
So ever since that day, I have been weaning Ella slowly to a bottle and she has been doing great. This in turn has lifted my spirits immensely. It must be something chemically or hormonally related, but I can feel emotional freedom now.
So sorry when I kind of roll my eyes whenever people say that breast is always best. I don't really agree. I don't think that Lily and Ella are going to stand out just because they were bottle fed. I think they'll be fine.
One thing that I think is better than giving babies breast milk, is having a happy environment at home. And if bottle feeding is the way to do that, then I don't feel any guilt whatsoever.
13 comments:
You're right on...A happy home is by far more important than a kind of milk. If people comment, just tell them it is a personal choice. If they argue with that, they probably aren't good friends.
You go girl! Loves to your cute family!
We love you and your family no matter what they eat! After all...Benjamin eats fish eyeballs and we still love him!
LOVE this post! I breastfed Macey until almost 4 months, and I had a REALLY hard time with it. I would have almost panic attack everytime we were in public, and I would have to do it. And, she was the same way: she took a really long time to eat.
Macey was bottle fed the majority of her first year. I got so hung up on the fact that "breast is best" that it was a really difficult decision to switch to formula. As soon as I switched, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders!
So, I say go Heather! I totally agree. And if our children are going to be different because they had formula, atleast they have each other! :)
I don't know if THIS is you, but I know several people who have experienced this, and its a real thing.
Either way, I'm glad you've found what works for you and that you're not feeling guilty. Its like the difference b/t a vaginal birth or a c-section. The goal is to get the baby here. Its not so much how that happens, just that it does. Same with feeding. Its not so much how you do it, just that you do it. :) I think we moms have enough that causes us to feel guilty without adding more things to that list. ;)
You're doing great, Ella is adorable & you look wonderful! :)
And....Scott is Lisa Bagley. I was on my husband's account! Also, at least is two words, not one! :)
Yes, I totally agree! I had to stop nursing Janie after a few weeks because it too SO long and she still wasn't getting enough and she would cry and cry. I switched to formula and it was so, so much better! So basically all three of my kids are formula fed and they are all healthy, and have a happy mama. I love formula too because Jonathan and other people can feed them. It's great! :) I am glad that you are feeling good. You are right, no reason to feel guilty.
You already know that I am a big supporter of bottle feeding, I did not have severe reactions to nursing, but my hormones made me...witchy. Bottle feeding is a much better fit for me, I am a big believer in doing what is best for you because what is best for you is best for your family. Love ya girl! Let's get together soon!
Ben eats fish eyes?!...bahahahaha :)
I say "amen" to everything you've just said. There's NOTHING wrong with bottle feeding. Or breastfeeding. I mean, there can be more than one right way to many things. Like how to brush your teeth, or how to make a bed, etc...breastfeeding is the same, and anyone who says otherwise is too stubborn and brainwashed to try bottle feeding. I think it might help their poor sanity if they tried it just once ;)
You are right - you need to be happy and then your baby will be happy either way!
Breast IS best but not at the expense of your own health or the emotional state of the home. (I have to say that cause I'm a nurse)
I wish you could convince my SIL she is suffering, but her compulsiveness is too powerful. She has serious PPD and she won't take meds because she is nursing and thinks they will hurt her baby. Hello! Her dr. Prescribed them understanding that she is solely nursing. Needless to say. Her whole family is Unneccissarily miserable.
Good for you for listening to your body and being aware of what it is your body needs! (Which in turn blesses your family too.)
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