Day 5 - Our Big 5th Anniversary

This post is written to my wonderful wife.

My dearest wife,

I have been thinking a lot about us lately.  It seems like it was just yesterday that we were sitting excitedly in the Salt Lake Temple waiting for for our chance to be sealed for all time and eternity.  I remember looking at you and wondering what our lives would bring into the world.  How many children would we have? What influence would we have on our family and friends? What would we do for Lord to help establish his kingdom?  Where would we end up? What would our lives become?

During the past five years I feel like we have only started to see what is in store for us and I am humbled to know that I have been given the opportunity to share my life with you.

As I have gotten to know you better, I have learned so much about life and how to let the Lord guide me through my struggles.  I know that there have been times when we both have been fit to be tied and I have watched you turn to the Lord for guidance time after time.  Every time you have come out stronger and with deeper faith and a stronger testimony.  I am grateful to have a wife who is so willing to turn to the Lord.

I have also learned the meaning of true love.  Through all of our hardships I have know that you are there supporting me even when it has not been easy.  I really feel like I have my best friend with me all the time.  I know that I can rely on you for anything.  Having kids hasn't easy, especially with how young you are, but no matter what may happen or how frustrated you may get with me or the kids I know that you love us more than anything.  I have seen you go into the kids room when they are sleeping and I can hear in my mind, "I will love you forever and forever my babies you'll be." 

You have taught me to live in the moment and not take for granted the smallest detail.  Yes we have our plans for the future and I hope that we can get to them, but what would life be like with out the little day to day miracles.  for me life has become a pearl necklace. A single pearl on it own is of no great worth and can easily be overlook.  Every once in a while you may find a perfect pearl, but that is rare. It isn't until you put the pearls together that you have something of great worth.  Our life together has been very similar to this.  We had our wedding, two children, I got my first job, and we bought a house.  Those are the perfect pearls, but we also have so many other memories that are so easily over looked.  I remember going strawberry picking, going for walks in Rexburg, the hole in the couch, cutting the couch in half, the neighbors dog and the frozen fish, the "stream", a kiss here and a kiss there, a melted ice cream cone, Lily sucking my pinkie, the mountains, Myrtle Beach, passing out in Wal-mart, our first kiss as an eternal family.  Put all of those things and many more together and you have US.  Something of great worth not just to us, but to our children, our families, our friends, and to the Lord.  I wouldn't want to change that for anything.

Heather,  I love you more than anything.  You truly are the center of my life and I would have it no other way.  you are the best thing that could have happened to me and I want you to know that.  Every day that pass I thank God that he gave me you with all of you.  What else do I need other than you and the Lord?

Thank you for being my best friend.  Thank you for your patience and love and God bless you for sacrificing so much for me and our family. 

Your Hubby

Day 4 -- Something That Went Wrong.... or Right

At the Raleigh temple grounds last year.

Before I got married I kept being warned that something would go wrong on our wedding day.  (When my sister, Lizzie, got married, their car died on the side of I-15 on the way down to the reception and so they had to be driven to their hotel by my parents.  AWKWARD.)  So I mentally prepared myself for different situations with the hope that everything would go more smoothly. 

Surprisingly enough, only one thing went wrong on our wedding day (besides the fact that neither Ben nor I got to eat any of our wedding cake, but that's typical).  After meeting up in the Salt Lake temple lobby we were taken in to the temple to do some paperwork.  Then, we were taken to the Celestial Room to wait until the actual sealing. 

So Ben and I just sat there, enjoying the quiet alone time, not being pressured by all of the day's events.  I can remember sitting on a couch and looking around at the gorgeous (and huge!) room, thinking, "This is what it's all about."  We weren't really paying attention to anything except each other.  Then a temple worker came up to us and asked, "Do you happen to know where your witnesses are?"  Umm... no.  We had sort of said our goodbyes to everyone at the lobby a while earlier.  In typical temple worker fashion, she just smiled and walked away.  Then a few minutes later another temple worker came and asked us the same thing.  And then another.  And then another.  So it was pretty clear that our witnesses were lost somewhere within the Salt Lake temple.  Eventually they were found, and Ben and I were finally able to get sealed.  Almost an hour late. 

But that was an hour of extra time that Ben and I got to spend alone together in the most peaceful place in the world.  It kind of makes me sad that it's supposedly bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, because there's so much craziness on a wedding day that you almost don't have time to breathe.  This was a perfect mistake for our wedding day. We both still agree that that is probably our favorite memory of June 21st, 2007.

Day 3 -- Fun

Every time I see this picture I always have to sing in my head, "We are a bobsled team!"

We're pretty used to people looking at us like we're stupid.  :)

Stay Puft from Ghostbusters.

Anyone who thinks that marriage is 100% work is doing it wrong.

I think that having fun and enjoying each other is just as important as any other aspect of marriage.  Ben and I share lots of memories and laughs together. 

 We often indulge in things that aren't necessities just because.  Last year Ben surprised me with a Rascal Flatts ticket at the same time that some of my girlfriends were surprised by their hubbies.  In return we surprised our hubbies a few months later with NHL tickets to see the Hurricanes play.

Sometimes we play practical jokes on each other.  I have a real hate for any toy that makes noise.  I have never once bought one for my kids.  They only ever get them as gifts from someone else, and when the batteries die they're not ever replaced.  One day I was complaining to Ben about one toy in particular that was driving me CRAZY.  The kids kept squeezing it and making it play the same song over and over again and my head was about to explode.  Later that night after we had gone to bed and turned out the lights, Ben stuck his hand under my pillow.  Immediately that toy's music was blaring through our silent room.  About a year later Ben was complaining about the kids zhu zhu pets and their weird little noises.  As soon as he mentioned that I smiled and you can guess what he found wheeling over him that night.

But not every single day is awesome.  And Ben is a smartypants of a husband because he is always prepared for my low days (they should make a scouting badge out of that.  I mean, really, how many of those badges are actually going to come in handy?  But surviving marriage.... there's something in that...)  He has a hidden stash in our house (no, I really don't know where it is) of Toblerones.  When I'm having a rough day he pulls one out for me and my day is that much brighter.

With how many books there are on marriage therapy, it makes me wonder if people sometimes forget about how awesome marriage is, too.  Because it has some serious perks and I would NEVER want to go back to being single.

Even if I do get serenaded by a battery-powered toy in bed tonight.



Day 2 -- Rescued

We were a lot skinnier back then.  I would say that there's hope for us to look like that again someday, but who am I kidding?  We both learned how to cook.

Back when we were dating, Ben and I were in different wards.  To make a long story short, one Sunday during church I was passing out and couldn't move because of a physical problem I was having.  My roomie Deanna was trying to help me get home but the furthest we could make it was to the religion building's stairwell where I was slumped over and practically lying down in my dress, trying my best to stay composed.  You know, I'm just so classy like that. I think my body has some rule that I am only ever allowed to pass out in public.

Tons of people were walking right past us.  No one stopped to ask what was up or to offer help.  But there was no way we were going to get home on our own.  So Deanna called up Ben whose ward still hadn't started yet.  Within a few minutes Ben ran up the stairs, picked me up in his arms, carried me to his car, and drove me home.  As soon as I was comfortably lying on my couch he called up his own roomie and had him come over to help give me a blessing.

At the time, it was romantically cheesy that he basically rescued me.  But coming from a married perspective, this incident was the first of many rescue missions we've been a part of.

Most of our rescues haven't been like the one I just mentioned or the one when Ben did the same thing when I passed out at Wal-Mart 8 months pregnant with Lily.  Most of our saves have been emotional or spiritual.

But those have been much more vital to our marriage than anything else.

Ben knows my struggles and I know his struggles.  We both try hard to understand what kind of help we actually need, instead of just assuming that we know what's best for the other person.

My favorite part about marriage is that I get to spend everyday with my best friend.  Who has almost everything in common with me.  Who isn't afraid to share his real, innermost feelings with me and listens to mine.  Who just happens to be the one other person in the whole world who has parented the record-breaking cutest children on the planet.

It's sort of awesome.

We know that the waves are going to keep pounding.  Life doesn't ever stop providing trials.  But this much I can say: What you work the hardest for is what you come to love the most.  And I would say that Ben and I have had to work pretty hard in our marriage -- and we have definitely come to love each other more now than when we were skinnier in that picture up there.

  So when I need to be rescued, it's nice not having to watch the people around me walking by, not offering to help, because Ben's already there.  And hopefully I'm already there for him, too. 

But Heaven help me if Ben really does pass out in a stairwell someday.  Because somebody else is going to have to do the rescuing that day....

Day 1 -- Father's Day

I've decided to do something a little bit differently this week.  You see, today is Father's Day and the 21st is our 5th year anniversary.  So even though this blog may seem like it's ruled by our incredibly cute children, I'm going to take a break from writing about them (for the most part anyway.... they're sort of a vital piece of glue and sticks the hubby and I together) and keep to a subject that I don't talk about that often: Me and Ben.  So each day until our anniversary I will be putting up a new post about us.

5 days of blogging for 5 years of marriage

Because 5 years is definitely something to celebrate.

So excuse me if I get a little mushy gushy, especially since I never do.

*******

Ben and I don't have a perfect marriage.  It bugs me to death that Ben usually only gets his big projects around the house only 90% of the way done and it bugs him that I almost never put DVD's back in their cases.  But around dinner time I find myself listening for the sound of our Camry driving down the street (it has a uniquely low hum that I have memorized) and wondering, "Is that him?!"  But since I'm always in the middle of scrambling around the kitchen getting dinner together, I usually just let the kids greet him*.

*"Greet" can mean anything from climbing up him to give him a hug around the neck to half sobbing/half asking for snuggles on the couch.  But usually it just means the kids are waiting by the door impatiently asking me if I'll open it for them (it's child locked) and yelling with delight, "Daddy!  You're home!" as soon as the door cracks open.  (It looks like I really can't stray away from the kids for too long, huh?  Fail.)

*Ahem*

Anyway.

I have one memory that will never be erased in my mind about Ben.  It happened when we were dating and almost to the "maybe we should go shopping for a rock but if anyone asks if we're thinking about the idea we'll just blush and say 'maybe'" phase.  We had been dating for a while and Ben's parents were flying into the country (from Samoa) for their granddaughter's baby blessing.  Since they would be a mere 3-4 hours away from us, Ben decided to take me down to his brother's house so I could meet some of the family.  Ben was amazing at making sure I didn't feel out of place.

Then something happened.  It's not so much that he stopped paying attention to me as it was that all of the young kids around us had more attention.  I watched as Ben scooped up kids off the ground and flew them around on his shoulder.  I watched tickle fights between this guy who was 6'3" and kids who weren't even 3'6".  I watched how time after time Ben lost whatever game he was playing with these kids.  And it was so fun for him.

And that's sort of when I knew. 

I already knew that I really loved him.  But I wanted someone who was more than just a fun guy that I was dating.  It had always been a critical need for me to marry someone who would make an incredible dad someday.

And I knew he would.

So fast forward to 2 months after we got married.  At the point I was barely 19.  We had agreed to wait 3 years to get pregnant so that we could both be finished with school.  But we also agreed, even more so, that if the Lord told us that we needed to have a baby sooner than that, we wouldn't hesitate.

It just came a lot sooner than we expected.

So.  Like I said.  2 months after we got married, Ben and I were sitting in the Idaho Falls temple doing our typical weekly (or whatever) session.  I had never had such a clear impression before, but it was VERY clear to me that it was time to start a family.  And I kinda-sorta freaked out a little bit in the session.  And I spent the rest of the session wondering how I would gather the courage to tell Ben.  So when we got into the Celestial Room in the temple, Ben (who had a slight "deer in the headlights" look) asked me if I had had any impressions.  I said yes and asked him the same question.  He said yes, too.

And I was not about to spill first.

So I asked him what he had felt.  And what do you know, we both had the exact same experience.  So we called our parents in the parking lot and asked them to fast with us the next day so we could know 100% for sure.  And they did.  And we fasted.  And prayed.

And then we knew.  It was time.

So even though I knew my life was about to flip a 180, especially for being so young, I felt peace.  And I kept reminding myself of all those memories of Ben playing with his nieces and cousins. 

And then I felt excitement.  Because Ben was going to be more than just "The Hubby," as I call him.  He was going to be my kids' daddy.

So when Lily came along and Ben flopped himself on the floor to do tummy time with her, and then Skyler came along and he woke up early every morning so I could have a break from his colic, and then #3 started getting baked and he rubs my tummy and whispers to her that he's excited to meet her, I feel the same confirmation I felt in the temple.  This is how it's supposed to be.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Father's Day hubby.  I'm still glad I picked you.





The Bad Guy

Lily:  Can we play in the pool today?
Me:  No, because it's Sunday, the most special day of the week. 
Lily:  (Trying to get me to change my mind) It's not Sunday.  It's a suuuuuunny day.

Nice try kiddo.  Nice try.

I often have to remind Lily that I'm the mom.  It's common that I have to soothe an upset Skyler and tell him that he doesn't actually have to obey Lily when she tells him to go to time out because he's not doing something she asked, like getting her blankie or playing in the castle with her.  Normally Lily is a complete angel, but when she wants to push some buttons, she knows how.  One thing that I tell Lily all the time is, "Just enjoy being the cool, nice sister for a while.  You'll get to play the bad guy in about 20 years with your own kids."  I say it more to myself than to her, because it's probably over her head, and I was proven right when I overhead this fight today:

Lily: Skyler, you HAVE to play in the castle with me.
Skyler:  But I don't want to. 
Lily:  Grrrrrrrr!!!!!  (and she literally says "grrr" too)  I'm the bad guy Skyler.  You HAVE to do what I say.  Go downstairs and go to time out.  NOW!
Skyler:  *starts up his typical cry*

You know, when I was a kid I thought that moms had the best job in the world.  You virtually have the freedom to do whatever you want.  You can go shopping, make all the foods you like, drive yourself wherever, make all the rules.... such a grand life.  And even though I do enjoy that freedom, I now realize that all of it comes with a bad side.  Kids don't always like the food I like.  Shopping can be stressful when living on a budget.  I'm always blamed for my own rules and I'm just as miserable as the person being punished. 

I think it's time that I turned the tables and let the kids send me to time out.  One minute per year old?  Done.  I think I'll take a nice soak in the tub.

Monster Mash

When Brooke, Rachel, and I found out that our friend Megan was going to be having her first boy, we knew it was time for a PAR-TAY!!!!  Because let's be honest, little boys are something to celebrate.  Megan basically lives in the same neighborhood as me and she's 2 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy.  It has been SO convenient for us to watch each other's kids for doctor visits.

Her surprise baby shower had a monster theme.  It's hard to read, but it says "Mommy's Lil Man Monster."

Although somewhat dark, this shows just some of the food that we had.  Not to brag or anything, but with our powers combined (that should be said with your best Captain Planet voice) we made some pretty awesome food.  Thank you pinterest.

Also, notice the rip in the table cloth.  Mine and Rachel's kids did that.  Luckily, it sort of fit the monster theme so we put a decorative monster above it and put the blame on him.  Ben was onto something when he asked, "Are you sure you don't just want to keep the kids here?  They fit the theme."  Umm... that would be a negative.

We told Megan that we were having a bow crafting day at my house as an excuse to get her over here.  It was so funny when she showed up to her own surprise baby shower with a gift bag full of handmade burp cloths for me.  Leave it to Megan to bring someone else a present to her own party.  :)

We set up the toy room to be a photo booth where we could take pics of ourselves with messages for Megan and Baby Anderson.  The lovely Brooke and Me.  My other wish was for Baby Anderson to be a future BYU-Idaho grad, because that's where it's at y'all.

The gorgeous Rachel.

Hilarious Hollyn (one of Megan's piano students) and Kasey.

The awesome Susan and Erin. 

The incredible Susan.  (With what I think is the best advice of all time.... nobody judge my own house once this baby comes....)

The lovable Cherre.

And last, but definitely not least, little Baby Anderson. 

Congrats Megan and Jaxon!!!  We're all so excited for your little boy to come.  Although it is VERY unfortunate that we will have so little time to get to know him before y'all move back to Idaho.  Best wishes!!!