An Update on my Blindness and Heart

You may not know (or remember) that I have been partially blind in my right eye for the past 3 years.  You can read more about that HERE.  After doing a few series of tests with my ophthalmologist, we came to the conclusion that they were all inconclusive and that we didn't know what would ever happen to my vision -- whether it would be restored or if I would be partially blind forever.

Yesterday, for the first time, I noticed that I could see fully out of my right eye.  And not just see -- but FOCUS!  The blind part of my vision was smack-dab in the center where you need to focus.  I have never appreciated good vision as much as I have in the last 3 years and I have learned a lot from it.  Here are a couple things I have learned from being partially blind:

• Your peripherals are amazing!  After a while of being blind, I forgot that I actually was blind because my peripherals would take over -- kind of like how your nose is always in your vision but your brain knows not to focus on it.  My brain would work around my blind spot and sort of fill in the gap unless I needed to focus on something, and that's when I would remember again that I was blind.
• Your peripherals are nothing compared to your center vision.  You obviously cannot focus on anything with your peripherals and so I would have to solely rely on my left eye to do many things like reading, doing makeup, or doing artwork.  My artwork has suffered quite a bit since being blinded.  It's amazing how much you need both eyes to see lighting and proper depth perception.  It's been so fascinating for me to test my peripherals and realize that my brain can see something but it can't translate or understand fine details.

Since my blindness was caused by stress, I've since learned that bodies can do innumerable things to warn you that you are too stressed.  I've since learned that it's not worth the stress to hold myself to ridiculous standards when my ability to see is at stake.  

But since my blindness was what led me to learn about 2 of my 3 heart conditions, I will always be grateful for it.  3 years of difficulty seeing was worth knowing how to best help myself.  I have since learned of a few people who have the same problems as I, and we all seem to have one thing in common -- before we were diagnosed, several people wouldn't believe our struggles to be real (sometimes including ourselves).  But hearing about how these other people get weak or faint on a regular basis has shown me that I am not alone and that it really isn't worth it to try to pretend to be anything but a person with heart problems.  

Since my diagnosis, I have been able to take much better care of myself and haven't suffered nearly as much.  My faintness gets triggered by heat, too much exercise, pain, stress, and too little salt in my diet.  So all I have to do is avoid those things as much as possible.  I hurt my ankle a couple of weeks ago while Ben was in NYC.  I was getting cereal down from a high shelf in the pantry and fell off the stool.  The kids were surrounding me as I was lying on the floor getting faint from the pain and all I could think of was, "How am I going to get the kids ready for school while I'm unconscious?!"  Such is the life I live.  But I constantly remind myself of how grateful I am to have already had my four kids because with each one my heart got worse and my pregnancies were hard.  I am also grateful that I made it through 4 kids without a doctor telling me to stop having them.  Others like me are not so lucky.

So Blindness, you were worth it!  Thank you for being the reason I learned about my heart.  It has been a fascinating 3 years but I think it would be for the best if we didn't repeat them...

Late Laughables

Skyler had his first t-ball game on Saturday.  I melted into a puddle on the floor when I saw him. 

Knock-knock jokes are the new thing here.  One day Lily and Skyler started bouncing them off each other and they were pretty bad (some still are).  They really didn't get the hang of a good knock-knock joke.  So Ben and I took a night aside to teach them the ropes -- good parenting at its finest, right?  They started off saying things like this:

"Knock-knock"

"Who's there?"

"Buh"

"Buh-who?"

"Banana!"

(I can just hear all the knee slapping happening right now)

But then Skyler invented his own joke that had me rolling on the floor.

Skyler:  "Knock-knock"

Me:  "Who's there?"

Skyler:  "Interrupting mom"

Me:  "Interrupting mom --"

Skyler:  "STOP IT!"

(I now know what I need to say less of...)

I got a citation last month for having an expired registration.  The officer told me it wasn't a big deal and that all I had to do was get the registration renewed, take it downtown to the courthouse, and it will be waived.  I went and got it dismissed quickly and the guy said, "This won't go on your record and you don't owe anything."  I walked out of there happy and thought to myself, "It's like it never happened."  And then as soon as I walked out of the courthouse and came to a stop at the street in front of it, the google maps car drives by, recording the fact that, yes, it did happen, and the internet will remind me of this for eternity.

Last night in family prayers Lily said, "And we're thankful that it's January because that means it'll be May soon."  ??????

When Ben takes the occasional business trip to NYC I don't have the luxury of leaving the babies at home during nap time/carpool/dance.  Being stuck in the car waiting in front of the school for 45 minutes was actually an absolute delight for Ella when she discovered all the different mirrors up front. 

One day as I was getting Ella out of bed from her nap (she still wears diapers when she sleeps) she said, "Don't worry, Mom!  I'm not poopy!  I just have a burp in my bum!"

Bad Easter Pictures and Lily's Dress Obsession

In case you were wondering (obviously you weren't), I have four kids.  That means a lot of things.  It means I do a lot of laundry, it means it's almost impossible to find a hotel room that's legally allowed to accommodate all of us, and it means that when it's time for an Easter egg hunt, it's almost impossible to get non-blurry beautiful pictures of each running kid while they're happy/finding an egg.  

Exhibit A:

This picture basically sums up the rest, so I'll spare you those.

We will also pretend that this is a wonderful picture of our kids enjoying their Easter goodies!  Look how happy they are!

*As a side note I want to mention that Easter is Lily's favorite holiday.  Right before I was going to turn out my light and go to sleep the night before, I heard something strange coming from the girls' bedroom.  I walked down the hall and opened their door only to find Lily hopping around like a bunny and saying excitedly, "It's Easter!  The Easter Bunny came!"  You can imagine her disappointment when she learned that, no, it wasn't Easter, it was 10:45 PM and she had to get back in bed.  There were many tears shed.*

Okay, this picture of Thad in his Easter outfit is basically the best.  My babiest of babies, my littlest of handsomes, my squishiest of squishies.

All year long, the kids do fundraisers.  All. Year. Long.

(I've joked with Ben that when we are homeschooling we should send the kids around the neighborhood doing fundraisers to support our school).

The Fun Run came up again and Ben was able to go and support Lily and Skyler.

That's my child right there.  The one who has to wear a tulle skirt on the day she runs 38 laps.  This is a perfect description of Lily.  On Saturday she attended a baptism in the morning and two birthday parties in the afternoon.  After we got home from the baptism I told her to go upstairs and change out of her dress so she could get ready to go to the parties.  She came downstairs with a new dress on.  That's Lily for you.  I love it. 

And there's Skyler!  His "girlfriend" is right in front of him.  And in case you didn't know already, Skyler is fast.  And in case you didn't read that correctly, Skyler would then tell you he is fast -- 5 more times.

These two.  13 months apart, have almost nothing in common, but are best friends.  Does it get any better than that?

T-Ball

I have a very special place in my heart for Skyler.  The truth is that as a mom, your heart breaks almost any time your child's heart breaks -- and for Skyler, that is a constant thing.  Everything and nothing will reduce him to tears.  I will say that Kindergarten has given him a greater boost of confidence.  When I compare Skyler to the other kids his age, it's not hard to see that he's a brainiac.  But his emotions often get the better of him.

His whole life I've tried to understand how best to help him.  Finally, one day this past fall I burst into tears in my bed and had one of those prayers where you're just desperate to find an answer.  I specifically prayed to know how to help Skyler find happiness.  The answer came back clear and it wasn't what I was expecting.  The exact words were, "If you want Skyler to be happy, he needs to play sports."

I have zero history with sports and Ben played a little bit of baseball.  In the back of my mind I always knew I would sign Skyler up for sports, but I didn't know what or when.  That day that I prayed, I immediately looked up soccer teams and the season had just begun.  I would have to wait for t-ball to start in March.  But I started practicing here and there with Skyler in the backyard.  The day I prayed I took Skyler out and started pitching balls to him and he just kept them soaring across the yard.  He is so much better without the tee!  Fortunately next year he'll be old enough to play without one.

Skyler started T-ball almost a month ago and it wasn't hard to see his gift.  I brought my camera to practice this week and of course I was only able to get one picture of him practicing before my camera died.

Ben is one of his coaches.  Lucky kid!

Practice is at the middle school right next to the kids' school.  So when we bring all the kids along, it takes about a half a second before they're begging to play at the playground.

A very big problem for an 18 month-old.

He finally was able to get the ball -- like a boss.

The night that Skyler came home from his first T-Ball practice was a great one.  He saw that he was great at something and he wanted to keep trying.  He still doesn't have his emotions completely in check, but little by little I see them improving.

Becca and Preston's Visit Part II

WARNING:  Another long post

Fortunately, Ben was able to come with us on an outing to Pullen Park.  Although I'm pretty sure Skyler was kidnapped and Darth Vader took his place.  Ella may have also been replaced by Princess Leia...

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you have someone you think is really cool around.  Since the kids adore Preston, we asked him if he could possibly help Skyler get over his fear of carousels.  Skyler will only ever ride on the benches but those were roped off -- a perfect opportunity to help him.  He started on the outside where the horses don't go up and down.  Thanks to Preston, Skyler loved it!

And let's be honest, there may or may not have been ice cream bribery also involved.

Ella and Thad also had their first rides!  Thad was not a fan in the beginning and cried for the first half.  But he turned it around and was fine for the rest of it.

Ella on the other hand was in heaven!  She kept blowing my mom kisses and yelling, "I love you Nanni!  I'm on a horse-meow-meow!"  (She was riding a cat)

May I point out that Ella's cat had a dead bird in its mouth???

We ate a picnic lunch.  The kids were more than happy to steal my parents' "fire chips" aka nacho cheese doritos.

We decided to have another go on the carousel and this time Skyler went on a moving horse! 

It was Thad's first time playing in sand.  He loved it and by the time we were done all I could think about was vacuuming his head.

Ella is still really scared of slides but we learned while Becca and Preston were here that Thad has zero fear of them, to the point where it makes me a little concerned.  :)

By the end of our time at the park it was an hour past naptime and Thad was getting frustrated which usually results in a throw-yourself-backwards-on-the-floor-and-scream tantrum.  Unfortunately for him I was standing right behind him when he started trying to throw himself backwards and the poor guy kept getting stuck in my legs every time he tried.  Fortunately we caught it on camera.  It really was quite comical.

Post-naptime Thad cuddles are one of the yummiest treats on the planet.  At one point he had a chip in his hand and he was still so tired that he looked at it and chose to hug/cuddle Becca instead of eating it.

Ella and Lily played Pretty Pretty Princess with Preston and Ben.  That was one entertaining game to watch.

The four of us went to go see Cinderella and it was fantastic!  Lily thought it was cool that Cinderella's name was Ella and that the actress's name was Lily.  (Thanks for bringing that up, Lizzie!)  I forsee many a girl's night out in the future.  :)

Lily gave Preston a horsey ride after he had given his fair share of rides to them.

Ella loves showing people her "ballets."

"Napping"

One little known fact about Thad is that he is addicted to water.  He doesn't really like any other drinks and when he saw Becca's water bottle, he fell in love and got really upset whenever someone else took a drink out of it.

I will miss them.  The kids already do.  We are just crossing our fingers and toes that all works out and that they will move to NC in a year when Preston is possibly done with dental school.  I don't care if they live across the street or a few hours away, but I want them (and their little baby) here!

No pressure Becca and Preston.

(Except, of course, that's a lie.)

Highlights of the visit:

• When Ben and Skyler both got sick and my dad and Preston were there to give blessings.  Skyler was instantly healed and Ben felt better afterwards.  It was a cool, cool thing to have three members of the family in one place available to give blessings.  Skyler loved being able to have a choice as to who blessed him.
• Getting a babysitter to watch the kids so that the adults could go on a triple date.  We went out to dinner and then to Mom and Dad's for a killer game night and Goodberry's.  I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
• Watching Ella transform from super-shy to lovey-dovey in just a week.  Ella really hates people she doesn't know, but a few days in she was constantly saying, "Becca, I love you!